Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
