I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
His nipple licking is glorious
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