Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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