alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
