i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
