I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
