I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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