just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
