did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
