K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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