i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
