you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
