as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
