ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
