i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
