I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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