You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we're making bets on your personal life
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
