Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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