can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
