I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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