Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I party with great urgency now.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
