I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
