i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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