Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
