Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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