the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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