the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
