I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
