dude i'm inner monologue high
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
