So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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