So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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