marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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