Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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