I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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