okay pat passed out under dana's car
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
