either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
