he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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