that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
