Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
