There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just had sex on a roof
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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