He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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