Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
