May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
