'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
