I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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