I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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