That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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