bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
