Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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