And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
