it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
