Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
